When I was a teen, I had to go through a bunch of things. Lots of people do. It's the teens. I was dealing with my endometriosis and the various treatments and... well. Normal so-called angst. My heart was broken by someone I cared about very much... I know he didn't mean to, but it didn't change the fact. I knew we were just friends. I knew he'd never want me. But it still hurt. After crying so much, and getting sick of it since it didn't help anything, I started telling myself something... something to remind me how things were.
It doesn't matter. No one cares what you think or how you feel.
Over and over, I told that to myself. It was an internal response to anything and everything.
My heart was broken. It doesn't matter. No one cares what you think or how you feel.
I was really irritated that I couldn't understand my schoolwork. It doesn't matter. No one cares what you think or how you feel.
I couldn't ride my horse, because the endometriosis made it too painful. I couldn't stand to see him sitting alone in the paster anymore, but it nearly killed me to sell him. It doesn't matter. No one cares what you think or how you feel.
Over and over and over. It doesn't matter. No one cares what you think or how you feel. You are irrelevant. You are useless. You are worthless. You are unwanted. And no one cares.
...it's been a while since that voice popped up in my head... Not that it really matters.... I guess. I try to tell myself to clam up. Not to say or do anything till it's all over, and I can't feel anything either way.... Because in the end... I just don't matter.
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