OCD+ADD=OMG

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!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I was livid. Infuriated. Pissed.

Ok, let me just say... I don't like going to lakes. I don't love boating, don't hate it, but if I had a choice I wouldn't squee for it. The idea of swimming about in a lake, doesn't thill me because I've been in lakes before. They're no where NEAR as good as rivers, because there's no water flow. There's tons of sun, and sunblock never really seems to work. Also, I spent a few hours with the Boyd family yesterday; I knew I was going to be spending most if not all day with them tomorrow.... I was really looking forward to breaking away with Mom and having fun on our own. Don't get me wrong, I love this family ... but, I value my solitude. I also value set plans. I hate to deviate from plans, and doing so last-minute really bothers me.

So... I was upset for those reasons, but those were really contributing factors... nothing really upset me more than the fact that they made a decision on plans, last minute... without me. Plans that concerned me. Then imposed their decision on me. I had been in a fairly decent mood yesterday when they wanted to go boating. I didn't want to go, but I decided to be a good sport about it. And then, that was canceled. I had spent my time with them and enjoyed it (as much as I could with the kids and all), and then that had been it. I knew I'd see them Saturday, so I wasn't really bummed about not going boating. I've mentioned all the things I don't like about it. So having that forced onto me after I'd happily left it all behind instead of something I knew I'd enjoy... without so much as consulting me? I was pissed!

Am I just being bitchy about this? Is it really wrong of me to feel angry over it? Or am I just wrong for being upset? I stewed over it as I was straightening out my hair... I told them that I had no desire to go, which was always followed by, "Well we really wish you would." I do remember saying with as much finality as I possibly could "Well I don't want to." I end the conversation with a refusal, but after I thought about it, I called and said if they hadn't left yet, I'd hurry over. It came down to the idea of going under sufferance as opposed to staying home and Mom having to put up with Dad's sulks... well... I didn't want to behave like a stubborn 5 year-old either. But it really boiled down to which behavior was more noble... I guess. Still, I think that from now on, if they make a decision without me, they should expect to execute that decision without me =..=

I didn't sulk about or whine, but if anyone were to ask me if I enjoyed myself, I would have to say 'No'. I road on the boat. I swam in the water. I was generally pleasant. But many things contributed to me not enjoying myself on top of the reasons that I already knew. When Dad went to heft me into the boat, I landed directly on my left knee, gave myself rug burn and a welt, and I can't walk without a limp. Moreover, sunburn's a bitch. On top of that, lake water is disgusting. After getting home, I showered immediately because I was covered in grit. So all of that made the day not good at all. But... at least I wasn't unpleasant about it.

So, after a shower and a bit of a sleep, I was starving. I texted Mom, asking if she had plans for supper, then I realized what I really wanted was Subway. So, I retexted saying I wanted Subway and asked if she wanted something. She called and said she wanted a salad, and Dad popped over to give me money for his sandwich and Mom's salade. It was a quick trip, but I had to put on a pair of jeans, and Oh Dear GOD! That welt on my knee had swollen a bit and the entire thing is red from the rug burn too... every time I took a step where my knee bent, it was on fire and just... hurting -..- I got home and took it easy whenever I could. Still...s'not the nicest of sensations. I did ice it this evening though. Once I got home.

I remember drinking two 16 ounce water bottles in an hour and a half period too... o..o
I know water's good for you, and yeah I switched to drinking water entirely months ago, but I've never drank that much all at once. Really, it was just two bottles one after the other.

Sooo... tomorrow is the family bar-b-q with the Boyd's and then the ice cream social with the church... followed by fire works. I'm hoping that Mom and I will head to Branson sometime next week. Preferably Monday... I'll have to hurry up with that research for the trip.

So... Jackson Rathbone is going to be Sokka in the live-action Avatar movie... and this is a movie directed by Shyamalan... hmm. Interesting. I'm really curious to see how this develops :) That has been the random thought for the day.

Aaaand, I've got nothing else. I'll write later, Sunshines.

What Your Cupcake Says About You

At parties, you stand out from the crowd. You're a fairly unusual person, and you can't hide it. You have a fair amount of restraint in your life, but you don't go overboard. You let yourself enjoy life. The most important thing in your life is love. You are laid back, flexible, and easy to get along with. To know you is to care for you.

The Cupcake Test

 

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....

...quoi?

Honestly, Steve. What’s wrong with just me, Steve? You don’t think maybe if I’d find ‘Mr. Right’ (who probably wouldn’t be quite right), you don’t think he’d think maybe I would be enough for him? Am I not enough in myself, Steve? What’s wrong with just me, Steve? Hey, Steve, while you’re off finding some girl to connect to, why don’t you try not being a jerk, K? >..>

The nerve of some people >..<

....anyway. After a nice Sunday School concerning the last supper, I went upstairs to the sound booth. Alicia did not show, and I assume that means she was in too much pain with her knee to make it. I hope she feels better soon....but, I had asked the pastor if we could lower the sound board, because the desk that it’s on is up on pillars. Today was my first day sitting in an actual chair as opposed to a stool, working on the sound board. And aside from one of the chorus guys programming the wrong song into the worship...everything went ok. The pastor spoke of the commandment, Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness/ A.K.A. don’t lie. He went a little further than that though. He said that it means more than just telling falsehoods, but also to be honest in every area of our lives....Good advice to live by...too bad there’s so many sensitive people in this world who say they want your honest opinion of something and then get offended.

There was a spaghetti lunch after church which was a fund raiser for our youth group. The whole church pretty much turned out to support them and give them money (plus, you gotta eat, right). I sat between Mrs. Carolyn (not to be confused with either of my Aunt Carolyns >..> too many Carolyns!) and the pastor. I leaned over to her and said, “You know what they say, keep your friends close and..” and the past slide closer to me and then forked my buttered bread ^..^ He called up to the servers and asked if they’d bring him a piece of bread and then gave that piece to me, but he accidentally dropped his XD!!! Twas funny.

Unfortunately, the noise and the bright lights got to me, I think. My stomach started pitching and rolling and just being uneasy and now I feel like I might be coming down with a migraine =..= I’ve taken some medicine and I’m gonna lay down in my nice, dark room...so if you don’t hear from me till tomorrow and I start asking what I’ve been doing, don’t be worried :)

Later, Sunshines.

Oh yeah! I forgot! Sunday Quiz-Spam is back!!! Enjoy!

The True You Feels Unappreciated

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to do more for you. With respect to money, you spend as little as possible. You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities. The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort. You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's The True You?

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You Would Win Best Supporting Actor / Actress

You are a quirky, fascinating person. You understand the world well. There's no one quite like you. Your uniqueness leaves a strong impression on people. You are bold and willing to take risks. People may love or hate you, but at least they'll notice you. You are just different enough to make a great character actor. You can make a smaller part come alive.

What Would You Win an Oscar For?

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You Crave an Exhilarating Life

Your dream is to live a life of inspiration, ideas, and wisdom. There's so much to do in the world, and it's important that you accomplish something great. You desire success, but not necessarily material success. Success could be helping others find the right path. More than anything else, you want to reach your goals... no matter how high they may be.

The Sunset Test

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You Are Tea

You are mellow and reflective. You don't allow yourself to feel in a rush and frenzied. You're likely to appreciated the ideas or connections that come up over a warm cup of tea. While you do enjoy the energy of a caffeine boost, you love that it allows you to take a break. You're not in a rush to do anything. You're content with your life, and in no rush to change it.

Are You Coffee or Tea?

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You Are LOL

The internet is always cracking you up. You could waste the day away finding things to laugh at. You're usually the first one to find a new funny video, picture, or website. You're always up for wasting time online, even if (especially if) you're at work. You also tend to spend a lot of time chatting, especially with people who make you laugh out loud.

What Internet Slang Are You?

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You Communicate Clearly

You're the type of person who thinks before you talk. You speak in an ordered, insightful, and concise way. You speak authoritatively and with conviction. If you take the time to say something, you stand behind it. You only say what you need to. You believe that your words are strongest when they're not diluted. When you have a lot to say, you map out your words ahead of time. You prefer to speak in bullet points.

What Kind of Communicator Are You?

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You Are Caramel deLites / Samosas

You are blessed with a brilliant, dynamic mind. It's sometimes hard to figure out what your focus should be. You're the type of person who does almost everything well. You are very competent but also unfocused. You're not an easy person to pin down. You are vibrantly complex. You have many facets to your personality, and they're often in competition with one another.

What Girl Scout Cookie Are You?

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You Were an Inspired Kid

When you were a kid, you tended to see things from a unique, inventive perspective. In class, you were either asking lots of questions or getting lost in a daydream. You excelled at brainstorming. People were always amazed with what you came up with. You didn't do as well with structured activities. Giving you freedom was the only way to make you shine.

What Kind of Kid Were You?

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You Are Warm

You are as patient, as outgoing, and as nice as you can be. You understand people well, and you mostly enjoy being around them. You are a naturally warm person, but you do have times when you're feeling a bit distant. But even when you're feeling distant, you try to be empathetic. You always go the extra mile.

How Warm Are You?

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Your Energy Level is Moderate

For you, life is all about balance. You keep active, but you rest a lot too. You have enough vigor to get everything done... with a little left over for some fun. You find that you have plenty of energy, as long as you give yourself time to recharge. But if you don't take care of yourself, you notice that your energy levels really plummet.

What's Your Energy Level?

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No Devil’s Pot of Tea, Mulan @..@

I called Circuit City to ask about that guy who was supposed to call me, and they said that he hadn’t come in and that they couldn’t find him. I spoke with the manager directly, explaining my problem. I was called back a little while later by a young lady saying that he had told them that he had told me to bring my car in Wednesday or Thursday morning...which, is crap because I firmly remember him telling me he was booked up all for Monday and he’d go in to Sam’s Audio early and get the part he needed, and call me at nine to get it installed. I asked if I could make an appointment for Wednesday morning at open. Then after thinking about it, I called Sam’s Audio asking if they had a similar stereo system, and how much it’d be to install it. They gave me a quote and I made an appointment for this morning at 9. I was so furious and anxious about the whole thing, that I gave myself a panic attack. My doctor had given me some pills to take when I have a panic attack, so I broke the pill in half and took half of the pill, hoping it’d help to calm me down.

….I broke out in a clammy sweat all over my body, it was very hard to breath, I was dizzy and drowsy and nauseous, I got the shakes, and everything, even sitting in my chair and staring at my monitor, was taxing. I finished the work-load for Saturday’s mail (God knows how), and told Lo that I had to go home. The girls looked at me and told me they were not comfortable with me driving myself home, because I’d gotten very pale and just didn’t look good at all (not to mention that I’d gotten deathly quiet the moment the pill kicked in, and they know that means I’m really not feeling good). So, I called my Aunt Carolyn and asked if she could come and pick me up. She said she’d come with Uncle George, and she’d drive me home while he followed in their car. I am glad they picked me up too, because I kept feeling like I was going to throw up at every turn. I got home, made myself some dry toast (the girls had recommended it) and went to bed. It felt like I wasn’t really sleeping, you know? Like I was motionless and my eyes were closed, but I was aware of everything. And yet, it was like no time had passed. I have to admit, other than feeling like my stomach was made of lead, all the other symptoms (save the grogginess of course) went away. So maybe it’s just that I couldn’t be up and moving around under those meds…lots of good that’d do me.

Around 6, my parents called – and I thanked God I’d had the good sense to keep my phone with me. I talked with them for a bit and then, I think I fell back to sleep. I woke up again around 7ish. I got up, ate a bit, watched some TV (mostly my Daria DVDs), and worked on organizing the pictures for the Mecha Con Scrap book. I did get some of my clothes washed, but I went to bed right after my shower.

I only took half of that pill, and I still feel drugged. But I felt well enough to come in to work and bring my car in, and the whole mess is over. This morning, after I dropped my car off, I texted people….because I was bored just sitting there. I hadn’t thought to bring something to read. Reiko was busy at work, Chibi was at chapel, and only asked texted back to ask when I was going to Arkansas. Scamp, got my text message and called me! We talked…for about 45 minutes or so. Which was sort of funny, since she’s spending time with her honey, Brian. I hope he didn’t mind =..= Still, after I hung up, we were still texting. Twas amusing...even if I was still bored all by my lonesome.

Now, the only thing I have to worry about for my trip, is packing! I’m so ready to just be gone! Tonight, I’ve gotta finish packing, load up the car, wash the dishes and try to straighten up some, make sure TomTom’s all ready to go, and...and….ummm….oh! Wrap Mom’s gift =..= Yeah, I got her the card, made it all out for her and I even used my stamps on the gift box, but I’ve yet to actually wrap the gift. Nice right? Doh...

I put my jeans on to wash this morning when I got up, and then when that was done, I put them on to dry. That’s the only reason I couldn’t finish packing last night. My jeans (the most integral part of my wardrobe) were still in the dirty clothes pile. Dad left a pair of his jeans and a shirt behind, so I need to remember to bring that too. My brain keeps going through all of the things I need, and I’m like “Can I pack that yet...I don’t think I need it, so I think I can.” And then I keep reminding myself, “Don’t forget Wednesday, after you use that, you’ll need to pack it.” It’s insane. I’m thinking of bringing the little thing of Folders coffee...I know my Dad doesn’t drink coffee as much as when I was there. So, it’d be a good idea to be prepared.

Oh well.. I can’t think of anything else, and there’s work that needs doin’. I’ll talk later, Sunshines.

Oh, another thing about work, we got our new shirts in today. They’re kinda stiff right now, but I like ‘em. We’ve decided on the color code too. Blue Mondays, Black Tuesdays (because of Black Tuesday! Get it! That was my idea), Pink Wednesdays, Burgundy Thursdays, and Red Fridays (because there’s a group of people that wear red on Fridays to show support for the troops and I firmly believe our troops need all the support they can get).

Also, in the work bracket of things, everyone at work loved my hair even though I think I look like a ridiculous shaggy dog. Lacey says I just need to get a good straightening iron and take the time to straighten it. That was nice. Although, having my hair straightened right as I get to work doesn’t sound like a good idea to me =.= But they all said it looked really good. Even the ladies down stairs said they thought it looked nice. Maria saw me as she was passing by the kitchen and she said “Tracie! You cut your hair!” and I said, “You’re very astute. *makes repeated shooting motions with hands* I can’t get anything by you.”

After work, came home and ate with Mom and watched another episode of Bones, it was the one called The Man in the Wall. It was fun, although it confirmed that one should never watch shows like Bones that show corpses in all stages of decomposition and dismemberment while they are trying to eat. After that Mom told me the news.

It seems our renters’ family has decided to sell a house nearby, and our renters want to buy and live in that house. It’ll take a few months, but they’ve decided to move out and have their own home. This means they would be moving out of the A-frame! I’d been kinda stressing about asking them to leave, because they’ve been there so long, but it didn’t mean I didn’t want the Nexus any less. So this means we’ll be able to open up The Nexus and let it air out. We can clean it up and start taking measurements on the floors. Get a few estimates on how much a hardwood floor would cost and all that. It doesn’t mean anything will be happening faster than the time-table that I’ve already set up, but it does mean that we may be able to start working on things slowly ahead of time so that by the time we are ready to move in, we have the basics of what we wanted.

After that I showered...and then Mom and I tried to put a few rollers in my ridiculous hair. I swear, you guys, I was not born to be a stylist. I get so frustrated because I know I’m not doing it right, and I’ve no idea how to make it right. It just bugs me. I really should‘ve told the lady that I hate vanity, so I consider spending more than 15 minutes on my hair to be total nonsense. Honestly, who really cares? Hair doesn’t affect my ability to perform my job, nor does it influence my status as a human being….ok, I’m pressing the “Abort Rant” button now =.= Sorry. Anyway, I ended up just letting Mom section it off and blow dry it, because I’ve no idea what I’m doing.

We watched another episode of Bones because Mom was bored. This time it was one we’d forgotten called The Man in the Bear, which means we’ve managed to watch the first disc in its entirety. Yayness. I must say that The Man in the Bear has to be one of my favorite episodes if only because it’s just so funny. It almost makes you forget about all the disgustingness of the bear eating people and then finding out that there’s a cannibal eating people and such. One of my favorite quotes is from there too! It’s when Dr. Brennan says that the arm was sawed off someone and then the bear ate it. And the park ranger dude says “That’s not good—people getting’ sawed up and ate by bears.” Hysterical!

Then I e-mailed Scamp back (a rather long e-mail at that) and e-mailed my Twin back, and now I’m writing here. I think that’s gonna be all for tonight. I tried starting my new Furuba manga that came in today, but Mom was bored and wanted to watch Bones, and I’m just too tired right now to really get into it. Besides, 5:45 always comes early. Later, sunshines!

You Are Not Addicted to Gossip

You're not a big fan of gossip. Not when it's about your enemies or friends. If you're going to say something about someone... You'll just say it to their face!

Are You Addicted to Gossip?

 

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Yaviel Isilmiel