Stuck on this Stick...

You know...I’ve wanted to post all weekend about things, and I’ve been putting it off or just forgetting about it. Sad, no? This weekend was fun and sucked all at the same time. Funny when that happens. Bloody hell began Saturday morning early and it has been a very rough cycle so far. Reiko had called during the week, wanting to know if we could get together Sunday. So, of course, I put off straightening up my room till the weekend. So, I cleaned a bit Saturday, then Mom and I had to head to Thibodaux (tib ih dough, people. Say it with me ‘tib – ih –dough’). She’d bought something there, and even though she actually purchased it they didn’t give it to her =.= So, we’re both feeling like petrified crap on a stick, but we’re out getting the stuff we need. I remembered that I hadn’t wrapped Reiko’s presents, and I wanted to get some paper for that (just in case). I also stocked up on candy for the office (Milky Ways & Musketeers), and we bought a boatload of those fuzzy socks since it’s freezing out and they were $1 ^____^. 

After we left that we were pretty hungry. So we stopped at Rally’s which we love but rarely go to for some odd reason. The burgers we got were inconsequential and forgettable, but the fries...we only just discovered that Rally’s has three different type of cheese fries. We tried the Bacon Cheddar Ranch fries…omg, you guys. I don’t know if it’s because I’m menstrual or what, but those were the best damn fries I’ve ever eaten! They were so good, I told Mom that I wanted to rush home and write an entire post just about those fries. Then again, we were both starving by that time...so yeah. Maybe that’s it.

I was gonna get on World of Warcraft and play with my Twin, but by that time it was late and she had to be at work. So I figured there was very little point. I did dabble around on AMOS and figured out that a program I have called PicPerk can convert the pictures I took from WoW into Jpegs, which was a real concern. I’ve got hundreds of pictures of my characters that I’ve wanted to share, but without the help of CorelDraw, there was very little I could do. After that, I watched a lot of the second season of the X Files. I still have mixed feelings about seeing Mulder in a Speedo...swimming or not, there are just some things that should not be done. Over the weekend I watched all the way up to disc 5 (there are 7 episode discs and 1 bonus). So, not too shabby.

Anyway. Sunday was probably the worst day for me. I woke up in incredible pain. Mom had a terrible headache and couldn’t find her headache medicine. Figures. So we both ended up hunkering down and skipping church. After straightening up a little more (making the bed look a tad more presentable and tucking Reiko’s now-wrapped presents away), Reiko called and informed me that she was getting sick. I told her I wasn’t feeling well either so we’d just have to cancel our meeting. I IMed my Twin and played some Warcraft on my new Blood Elf Warlock. We played for a while, but I started to feel bad (after a couple of hours) and logged off. Reiko then called and said she was bored out of her mind watching Puppy Bowl and asked if I could bring her Wolf’s Rain. So, I did. Borrowed Accepted and Scourge of Worlds from her...Scourge of Worlds was fun when I finally figured out what had to be done. It’s an interactive DVD, so you actually get to choose which path the character’s choose. It was interesting. After looking over Reiko’s menagery and trading DVDs, I went and got Mom and I something from Subway for supper. We watched Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and then ...I don’t really remember, so I assume we went to bed =___=

I don’t feel quite as bad today as I did yesterday…that’s good. Not that I feel good, mind you…. I still feel like petrified crap on a beatin’ stick. Oh well. That’s all for now. Ja.

 

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Your Dominant Thinking Style: Modifying

Super logical and rational, you consider every fact available to you. You don't make rash decisions and are rarely moved by emotion. You prefer what's known and proven - to the new and untested. You tend to ground those around you and add stability.

What's Your Thinking Style? 

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LJ Idol, Season 3, Post 3 - Dare to Dream

2/9/2007 EDIT: 

Vote for me!

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LJ Topic: “My Biggest Mistake and What I Hope that I Have Learned From it"

Hmm. What a loaded topic. How do you approach something like that?...and more importantly, what is my biggest mistake? I’ve never been the type to rehash problems or mistakes. You make mistakes, you learn from it and you move on letting the wound heal in due time; a good motto really considering I’m the obsessive type that’d just as soon beat my own self down before anybody else. Not only that but my memory isn’t worth ash, so even when I do make mistakes, I tend to forget not long after. Then there’s the fact that my life is over-all mundane and what mistakes I do make don’t really impact the dullness of it.

So...should I talk about my horse Rocky, and how I agreed to sell him because my bouts with the endometriosis were making it impossible to ride him and give him the proper attention he needed? No. That wasn’t really a mistake. He went on to greener pastures, even if I couldn’t ride. Perhaps I should talk about believing the local doctors for over three years when they said it was all in my head, then seeing a specialist and finding out my condition was actually worsening...no. Too self-righteous. I think I’m beginning to see why this topic is one that I find hard to write on...my mistakes are not mistakes, only difficult lessons. It felt terrible to sell Rocky after growing attached to him and loving him for so long, but it was the right thing to do. He was wasting away in a pasture, doing nothing but being fed and eating grass all day long. The same with my doctors. They’re doctors, they should be smart enough to know when something’s wrong, no? But they let me down by closing their minds and assuming that if they could not find something, there must be nothing wrong. I learned to listen to myself, to trust myself and to pay more attention to who I’m confiding my trust to.

But I don’t want it to seem as though I’m trying to cop out of the subject. So I’ll write about mistakes and what I’ve learned. But haven’t I already? Is this enough, typing out that these were mistakes and that I don’t view them as such?…I’ll throw in one more, just to be certain.

When I graduated from High School, I debated for a while as to what I should go to college for. I had to go to college; my brother didn’t and my parents have ragged on it every sense. Not going to college would disappoint them and make them feel as though they’d failed at raising two children. But like many young people, I had no idea what it was that I should be going for. Should I pursue something that would flourish my writing and allow me to better write my book? …No, that would be entirely too risky. What if I didn’t get anywhere with it and ended up wasting the money? OK. Web design. I’ve always enjoyed graphic and web design, and I’ve never had a degree for it so that I could do it professionally. Certainly that would be something worthwhile. No...risky again and besides that, Nichols (the closest official college) is a very expensive school. I don’t want to pay an arm and a leg for something like that, a field that I may never succeed in. So, I investigated the local community college. Their equipment wasn’t as good, and they didn’t have quite as many options, but still! I could study Office Systems and Accounting, earn some sort of Business Degree and then I’d at least have a fall-back. Something that I could always use…but certainly something I didn’t want to do for the rest of my life. 2+ years later, I earned my Associates Degree in Office Systems Technology...I’ve been working at this little desk job, a job my degree provided for me. And all the time I keep saying “If I could go back to school for something like writing or web design, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

Perhaps having this degree under my belt was a good idea. Perhaps it will help me in the future…but the time it took to get it could’ve been used to further my dreams. I should’ve trusted myself or at least been willing to take the risks. But I didn’t want to burden my parents should the financial situation get out of hand, and I was too afraid to fail them (and myself). Failure is a part of life. Everyone does it (and I can say that without feeling cliché). And we all deal with it and walk away with something more. Sure, you may have failed, but you still have something more than what you came with. I learned something else while at this desk job, filing, copying, taking phone calls, and organizing mail...yes. I can be content with this. It’s something I can do and that I do well...But it isn’t fulfilling. It doesn’t pressure me, it doesn’t challenge me, and it doesn’t satisfy me. In its own way, it smothers me. I can’t write because all of my efforts are devoted to this job. I’m tired at the end of the day, and I’m not strengthening the very skills that make me me. Perhaps the biggest thing I’ve learned from this…is not to be afraid. I’m going to fail at some things. It’s inevitable. But I shouldn’t be afraid of that, or if I am, I shouldn’t let that paralyze me.

In the future (once I’ve accomplished many other goals), I hope to be able to go back to college for the things I love to do. Maybe I will fail at them...but if I do, at least I can say that I dared to dream.