OCD+ADD=OMG

Tuesday, I felt rotten about myself. Mostly for not contributing to my parents and not having a job and being an unproductive burden. So, I went into over-drive. I moved things. I organized. I was productive!....I... pulled a muscle >..<''' I hurt myself really really badly. My lower back was so sore, and I couldn't really take a single step without pain. And I decided that the pain was something I'd just have to cope with. I endured it for the rest of the day, using an ice pack as necessary.

The next day was Mom's birthday. I had planned to wake up early to accompany Mom and Dad to a doctor's appointment for Dad. Unfortunately, the pain woke me first, around 4 in the morning, and I could not get back to sleep. So, I waited and bided my time, then got ready and joined my parents. It was a grey sky day. The type where grey clouds stretch far and wide, with no hope of a blue sky any time soon, as a constant steady rain pelted us as we dashed in and out of the car. And the weather has been decidedly cooler since then. While they were in the waiting room, I nicked their car and went to drop a resume off at Remax (I'd heard that they were hiring). The entire time, my back was still killing me, but I did little more than answer 'yes' when Mom asked if it was still bothering me. She said she could tell because I was limping. We went to a local Chinese place for lunch, and Pastor Sam and Mrs. Karen joined us. I surprised myself by eating more than one plate of food (unnatural, as I usually have a small appetite).

I returned home, and my parents soon left for another appointment Dad had. I washed my towels and tried to stay active. I was still hurting, but I had this idea that if I slowed down, I'd collapse and not return to a vertical position. I watched Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and made a pan of fudgy brownies for Mom's birthday. Mom called me to let me know that they had returned, and let me know that we had an hour before we had to leave for church. I made sure her brownies were cool, poured caramel on them and brought them and her present over to the house 30 minutes before we were supposed to leave. Her preset was a collection of Nat King Cole's songs - 4 CDs with a bare minimum of 25 songs on each CD :) Mom loves Nat King Cole, so she was happy. She was even happier with the brownies though. I bore my pain in silence during Youth. I was informed by that pastor that the boys would be having their first at-home game this Friday, and I told them that I wanted to go. I do love my boys, and I really want to be involved in their lives as much as I can. Surprisingly, boys are just as easy to play big sis for as girls :) At least, these are.

But today....today was agony. During the night, I started bloody hell week =..= Which, in a way, I am grateful for. At least I won't be menstrual during the Family Reunion. I could not move without hurting. I could not sit still without pain. I walked with a decided limp, and the pain raced from the right side of my lower back, into my buttock, down my thigh, gripping my knee and down my calf. Not to mention my usual menstrual agony. I went next door anyway, because Dad had said that he wanted to move the trundle bed they had gotten me into my spare bedroom where it belonged. I knew he wanted to get that done early, so I set my alarm for 8. I ate breakfast slowly and waited till I'd finished my second cup of coffee to call him. I waited patiently while he worked on something for Mom, but it was evident by then how bad off I was. I couldn't walk far without panting, and I couldn't so much as move without groaning. I did what I could to help, which was mostly making sure the room was fully prepared for the bed and holding the part of the bed in place while Dad secured them. Then we ate lunch...and went to Wal-Mart.

All three of us had medicine that we needed to get, not to mention a few other things we needed. Wal-Mart has never impressed me with their pharmacy...They've always seemed ill-equiped and uncaring just generally. But our town's Wal-Mart? ....oh they are much worse than average >..> They are always late and they never care. They always say, "It should be about 30 minutes." and then 30 minutes later, they say the exact same thing. We got everything we needed, and they still were not ready. So we walked around for 30 minutes. Not easy when every step is agony. But then, sitting still was agony too, so what's the difference? But when the 30 minutes was up, and it was looking like it'd be another 30?.... that just made it all seem too stupid for words. By this time, even my ankle was starting to hurt, not to mention my left leg is hurting because I'm over using it. So we sat until they called our name. Then left. After coming back home, the rents and I sat in the swing and relaxed a bit. After that... it was bath time.

I had mistakenly gotten some bubble bath from Bath and Body works. I think it's Island Cotton or something like it. The scent is very nice, but I had meant to get the body wash and not bubble bath. Like I said, it's been simply ages since I've had a bath. When I was a kid, I would play about in the bath, but then I took a shower and realized how clean and amazing it felt. So I just switched. I haven't taken a bath since. But now, I have that enormous soak tub in my bathroom, so I figured a hot bath might help. I started the water running and poured in a bit of the bubble bath. A few weeks ago, I had bought this awesome CD called Zen and the Art of Relaxation... so I decided to plug Thalia in and play that music while I relaxed. After it had gotten about half way full, I finally climbed in...and it was heavenly. My muscles relaxed. The scent surrounded me. I covered my enormous self with bubbles and just soaked. I think I must have stayed in for about half an hour. I wasn't really sure how one behaved in a bubble bath...but I generally just kept myself relaxed, submerging body parts invariably and letting myself just be. I did not get out of that tub until every last soap sud had popped itself.... and then, I let the water out, got up and went over to the shower to shave my legs and wash my hair. But I wasn't in so much pain anymore. I was just relaxed. And that's not to say that I'm 100% better, but it's a vast improvement over what I have been. The only way the experience could have been more stress reducing and relaxing, is if I'd been eating chocolate during the bath ^..^

I've eaten and sat on my ice pack, and I really hope that this is my turning point. I would be so disappointed in myself if I couldn't go to the game tomorrow. Either way, I feel loads better, and I'm going to focus on not pushing myself at all. That's probably been most of my problem. So. Here's hoping.

That's all for now. I haven't really posted since that massive Tweet Tuesday night, so I suppose this is about 3 proper days worth :) I'll type later, Sunshines.

You Are Blackberry Iced Tea

You are funky and creative. You like to turn the world upside down just for fun. You believe that some of the best things in live are undiscovered. You're very attracted toward the offbeat. You're the type of person who likes music, movies, and places no one else has heard of. You're not that weird... you're just attracted to the quirkier side of life. So much in this world is underrated!

What Flavor Iced Tea Are You?

Blogthings: A Fine Line Between Insight and Stupidity

Orly?

 

---