Loathing Self Recolection

[msmoon]

Yo. Ever wake up one morning and think to yourself...“...I don’t have any friends...” and then just move on with life as if it’s nothing? Well...that’s been me for the past two or three years. I have maybe two friends locally. Neither make an effort to call me or include me in their lives. We never get together unless I call, e-mail, or somehow manage to contact them. And now, even people I’ve come to rely on...don’t seem to give a damn. Those thoughts are with me whenever I’m alone. Then, I pick myself up (or what’s left of me) and move on with my day as if it’s normal. I’ve only recently realized, that it is almost a normal reoccurring thought. As if it’s normal not to have friends. Although, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised; I’ve been conditioned for this since school. I was an outcast all in school, hated, teased, beat up, and in the end a self-made out cast. It got to the point, where I no longer wanted to interact. I suppose even at that young age I could understand that it would save me considerable pain. So here I am, with only myself (and my 1,000+ voices) slaving away to write about said voices in the world I’ve made for them...with essentially no one else.

Now, drifting away from that terrible realization, how about we move on to the day.

1. Woke up

2. Went to church

3. Opperated Sound booth

4. Went out with Mom to eat at Olive Garden

5. Agreed that Olive Garden’s dishes are way too pricy, and appetizers are just fine

6. Found out I actually enjoyed fried calamari

7. Fell in love with buttered-cheese-covered-crab-stuffed-mushrooms all over again

8. Felt terrible while Mom dragged me around Wal Mart

9. Went to CVS to get pics put on CD, only to be behind a nearly blind woman with three CDs worth of pics to print out.

10. Came home and vegged out while reading Gargoyles Fan fiction (note to self: Must send some sort of fan mail to Kimberly Towle; she had me fascinated for hours).

11. Watched Extreme Makover: Home Eddition with Mom (thank God they’re all new!)

12. Ate left overs.

13. Showered.

14. Took pills

15. Checked mail, and sent one off to cousin Andrew in AR.

16. Realized I have no life, again

17. Wrote…uh...writing in journal.

So that was my day. How was yours? Good to hear. Or, not hear in this case. I am tired. I must wake in the morning. And I am not happy about that. Why can’t I just sleep forever? I’m sure I’d enjoy life much more...but then Mom and Dad would probably be lonely. Scratch that then. Goodnight.

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you're gonzo! the most interesting thing of all!
your love for chickens is truly sick, but
you're still strait. weirdo.


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Congratulations! You are Kermit the Frog! In your
time you have become Captain of a ship, starred
in 'Sesame Street' and much more! Go you!


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...ammusing…

MM