Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

[msmoon]

Rating: 4 out of 5

Many people will say that this movie isn’t good enough…but, as far as I’m concerned, we have yet another classic Indi film. There are tight spots that seem impossible to get out of, there are car chases that drag on forever, consisting of way too much fighting for any human to take and ending in much damage to cars and people alike. Over the top, never say die villains (as well as heroes). A past love interest (the only one I actually liked). In the end, the villain got exactly what they wanted and it utterly destroyed them. Classic Indi. While the previous 3 focused on the power of ancient god’s and their artifacts which were used poorly or by those who have no reverence for the god that artifact represent; #4 turns focus to the Mayan’s and suspicious surrounding their gods and culture. It’s similar because it does have an ancient culture and that culture’s god for a plot base, along with a symbol of power used by or representing the god of that culture. This time though, the Mayan’s gods are...well, aliens. A crystal skull is found, belonging, of course to an alien. This alien is one of 13 (I think..I’ve slept since then, so I can’t remember if it’s 13 or 12). They all have a collective consciousness, and they all wait in the old city Akator, also known as El Dorado…which, they founded. These beings were ‘gods’ to the indigenous people, showing them how to make their very advanced city.

Instead of having the Nazi’s back or even the Kali-worshiping Thuggee’s of Temple of Doom, we have Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) and her Soviet Soldiers…searching for a crate in an Area 51 storage unit (and we get a tiny glimpse of the ark of the covenant from Lost Ark :D). It contains the body of an alien…or, inter-dimensional being or whatever they want to call it. Evidently, these aliens/beings are of the magnetic crystal skeleton, phenomenal psychic power variety. Our hero survives the Reds, betrayal, and a nuclear blast...way to go, Indi. But his troubles are not over. Oh, no. That’d be much too easy. It seems this is the point where everyone was fearful of communist (not too unlike our current fear of terrorist), and since Indi has had one comrade turn traitor, he’s under suspicion as well.

He ends up loosing his job and is about to leave the U.S. entirely, but he’s stopped by Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf <3), who I must say, looks awesome as a greaser on a motor bike. Mutt tells Indi that his old colleague, Harold Oxley (John Hurt), disappeared after discovering a crystal skull in Peru – Then Mutt tells him that his mom, Mary, went to look for Ox and got caught herself. She escaped long enough to send him a letter that Ox had written, but he hasn’t heard from her since. The two are followed and nearly apprehended by two KGB agents. The narrowly escape and Ini is able to Indi’s place where he can accurately translate Ox’s letter. It leads them on a great chase for the crystal skull, which Ox found and then hid again.

After finding the skull, it’s elongated and…well, alien. They are captured by the Soviets again, and taken to a camp where Ox and Mutt’s mom are being held. Mutt’s mom turns out to be Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen!), from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Indi is forced to stare into the eyes of the crystal skull, making a psychic connection with the alien. After breaking Mac’s nose, he is also made to translate the insane babbling of Ox – who stared into the crystal skull’s eyes too long. They escape momentarily, only for Indi and Marry to end up in quicksand. While everyone else is looking for something to help the two with, Mary tells Indi that he’s a daddy, and that Mutt’s real name is Henry the 3rd. Indi’s beside himself, demanding why she didn’t force the kid to stay in school. They’re all captured again, when Ox’s attempt to get help brings the Soviet’s right to them.

Considering that Indi, Mary and Mutt were all thrown in the back of the same wagon together, I really think it’s obvious that this is where the momentous chase takes place. Along with some pretty gruesome scenes with man-eating ants...but I’m not one for drawn-out suspense, fights and chase sense. Suffice to say that Mac convinces Indi that he’s a double agent working for the CIA to spy on the KGB. Indi gets everyone out safely, thanks to many heroics on his, Mutt and Mary’s part (the part where Mutt bonds with the primates and goes all Tarzan was a little much, but it made me laugh). After escaping the Reds, Indi and Co. fall down a waterfall 3 times (and I knew it was coming since Ox rambled on about “it drops three times” much earlier). They collect themselves and end up following Ox’s riddles to discover the location of the temple. Indi announces that he has to help Ox return the skull – because the skull told him to.

Though they don’t know it, they are being followed by the Reds. Mac isn’t a double agent, he’s a liar. He leaves ‘bread crumbs’ for the Soviets to follow. But along the way, Indi and co. make their way through old ruins, are confronted by natives (who back off after seeing the crystal skull) and then solve the riddle of the key to get into the “inner sanctum”. They find their way to where the 13 seats are, 12 complete skeletons and one headless skeleton waiting for the skull. Mac holds them at gunpoint, allowing Irina and he gang to catch up. They return the skull to its rightful place, and Ox begins to speak in Mayan as he stares at the now slightly animate skeleton. Indi translates that the aliens want to give them a great gift. Irina steps forward, wishing to “know everything”.

The building shakes as the area overhead changes radically. Ox, finally coming back to his senses, explains that the aliens are inter-dimensional beings who taught the Maya their advanced technology and points out the portal above them. Indi, Mutt, Marry and Ox all escape the chamber and several of the Soviets are sucked into the portal. The Alien begins to feed knowledge into Irina. Mac leaves with Indi and Co., only to get greedy and end up getting sucked into the portal as well. The skeletons all form one single alien, which continues to feed Irina; but it overwhelms her, causing her to disintegrate. Indi and Co. escape to a nearby mountain. They get out in time to watch as the space ship that was encased in the temple rotates up, destroying the landscape, and disappears (causing all debris to stop and fall back).

The movie ends with Indi’s name being painted onto a door, declaring him associate dean. It then cuts to him marrying Marion. Mutt, goes to get a camera, and the doors of the church open from a gust of wind, which blows Indi’s had to Mutt’s feet. Mutt picks up the hat and goes to put it on, but Indi stops him, doning the classic Fedora before exiting with his bride on his arm.

All in all, a very Indi film. Is it for everyone? Well if you don’t like the over-the-top nature of the other Indi films, then don’t expect much from this one. But it really is a blast from the past. ^..~ Later, Sunshines.