Random Story Post
2006-Mar-11, Saturday 02:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
msmoon
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Well, after talking with Odango (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
chaineddove), I think I’ve decided to go ahead and post whatever fan fics I’m working on in my journal no matter what. I mean, no one really reads this stuff, right? Although, that can be bad. No one ever tells me that it sucks, but no one ever tells me if they actually like it either. And I kinda need objective views about what sucks and what doesn’t. But at least I can say that I have it posted somewhere. So here’s the first random story post.
Fandom: City of Heroes
Title: Heaven & Earth
Chapter: Prologue
Rating: PG
Warnings: a smidgen of angst, but mostly cynical/clinical
Wordcount: 690
It's a curious phenomena that I've observed in my many years...The power a man can have over his offspring. With a simple look, tone, grunt, or any other of the variable noises a father uses to communicate, he can command the attention of his children. Mothers can be much the same, I suppose. Men and women of any status can if they so choose command respect, love, loyalty, envy, and hatred from their children. The power of this role fascinates me...
I assume this dynamic is alien to me because I never truly had a strong mother or father figure in my life. My father was a great warrior and my mother was a healer - or so I'm told. Father and Mother were opposites...he was rugged, harsh, and unyielding; she was kind-hearted, gentle, and patient...that's what he loved so much about her. I'm told my father saw all the terrible violence in the world, and when he met my mother it was as if he'd never had water and she were a refreshing spring. His own words, mind you. Who'd have known he was so poetic?
My father, being the warrior that he was, was often called out to defend his people. He protected his own like any would...and eventually even he was killed. Supposedly the greatest fighter in the world...it goes to show that against insurmountable force, even the greatest can be made humble. And he was only mortal after all...Everyone says the greatest tragedy is that he never even knew of my existence...I think they assume that if he knew that my mother was with child he wouldn't have died. I don't think his enemies would've cared very much whether he was going to be a father or not...
Mother, being the sensitive empath that she was, immediately fell into a deep depression without her mate. Many are sure that I was the only thing that kept her alive...because she died not four months after I was born. I suppose she wanted to leave a legacy of herself and my father in the world, but she couldn't stand to live here without him. At some point in my youth I resented both of them. Why couldn't they have survived? If they had, would things be different? Would I be different? I soon learned that wishes are about as good as throwing water on a kerosene fire. I've since stopped wishing.
In all the long years of my life, I have confided in no one. I've relied on only myself...I've hardened myself so that I am more like my father. I'm now known as a volatile fighter, unrivaled in my skill by even the greatest of Lords... Any of those who ask why I have gone to such lengths to achieve my current status are simply told that my mother wanted a part of her soul mate to stay behind in this world, after all. I should do my best to honor the dead, shouldn't I? It isn't the truth at all. But the truth is, no one really wants to know why. No one really cares that those words are wrong.
I haven't become what I am for my mother or my father or anyone...I became this way because I didn't want to have loved ones. My father's biggest downfall was his love for my mother. It weakened him. And of course, if she'd never met my father, my mother wouldn't have died. That has been my logic.
...and yet I am hollow...I look at myself objectively and find myself wanting...and the worst part? I do not know what I'm wanting for. Is it companionship? Is that what I'm lacking? Who can I find for companionship? I could not rely on my family, and if you cannot bond with those you're thrust into the world with, how can you come to trust strangers? Where can I go to find my equals? Perhaps the answer is obvious, and I am somehow overlooking it...
Fate is neither my ally nor my enemy...but I will allow her to show me her whimsy...just this once. We shall see where it takes me.