msmoon | Machine Slave...

Yo. I’ve been restless lately because I feel like I have some serious problems. I have no job, I have no goals, I have no life. I have solved at least one of those problems. I want a computer. A new computer that’s entirely mine. I’ve been looking at the Alien ware computers longingly, but in all good truth, there’s no way I can afford one of their computers. So, I was thinking outloud while in the car today and I said,

“Where can I get a good computer for cheap?” There was a small moment of silence as Mom stopped grumbling about the people in the way (‘Why are they going so slow!Can’t they see I want to turn?’), then she replied...

“Wal-Mart?” another moment of silence ensued.

“...Wal-Mart doesn’t have computers, Ma...”

“Sure they do. Wal-Mart has everything, Hon. There’s just a question as to the quality.” Another moment of silence.

“Hmm...”

The lucky thing was, we were on our way to Wal-Mart. So I got to go and look to see what their computers were like. They’re just like everything else I’ve seen. I guess I just thought, since Wal-Mart isn’t famous for selling just computers, their computers would somehow seem insufficient. Yet I find they’re just like all the other computes...only cheeper. Much cheeper! I’ve got my eye on one that’s only like $600 or something. So now I have a goal...I just need to get the job, so I can get the money, and achieve the goal. Seems simple right?

Looking for jobs are easy...getting one is a completely different story -.- Just this morning, Mom and I went out and I handed out about 11 resumes to different offices around. I can hand out about 5 resumes and be alright. After that, I start to get a little depressed. It’s like, “These people don’t want me, they’re not at all encouraging. Even if there is an opening, someone better than me will get the job.” That sorta stuff. I don’t mind the pause in work – I’ve been working and going to school for a little over 2 years now, I could use the break! – but I feel like I’m not moving on, and that makes me feel useless, and that makes me depressed. Not to mention that I have no RL friends that seem as interested in being my friend as I am in being theirs. *sighs* My parents tell me all the time that my friends aren’t good to me, and I should just leave them, because I go out of my way for them, and they don’t consider me. It drives me nuts, and it makes me feel like just giving up on having friends (at least personal, real-life friends). Or maybe I’m just so discontent that I’m finding things to be unhappy about.

And with that, I’ll go ahead and end this insane entry. Mom’s going to Prime-Timers tonight – a get-together for the 50+ members of the church. They cook, bring food, eat, talk have fun, and Mom always brings some food home to me. Good old Cajun food...yum...But I’m free again. So, I may watch the 3rd season of Red vs. Blue again or something...if I don’t go and do that now...Ah well. Later.