msmoon | The Vices of Womanhood

Yo. I really have nothing to post about today...so, for lack of anything better to say, I’m going to post this thing my mom sent me, which cracked me up. It actually brought me out of my groggy stupor long enough to feel a little ok...then I had to take some more pills and it’s off to bed and all that jazz. *sigh* Oh well. Read this and post what you think!

We started to "bud" into our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find out that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils, leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels in side us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we had swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the OB and hubby square in the face for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find t hat when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. Then... come their teen years. Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday and is now all but null and void.

So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

Send this to seven bright women you know and make their day!!! Or at least make them laugh a little... but not too hard or they may pee their panties.

The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause
Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and Psycho

And with the business concluded, it’s time for today’s quiz.

~*~Result nr 2~*~

Your power is: Telekinesis

Explanation: This power of your means
that you can make material things to move, like
for e.g. making the remote control fly over you
just by thinking it. As all powers, this is a
great gift to have. It is also helping you out
since it allows you to be lazy and have things
brought to you without moving a finger. But if
you move over to the immoral side this power
can be used as destroying peoples property or
similar things.

As a person you are easy going and just like to
have a good time. There is nothing wrong with
that, but people may see you as incredibly lazy
and irresponsible. You prefer being out
watching a movie or something than staying home
and doing the math assignment. Your outlook is
fairly positive but you are aware everything
isn't as nice as you'd like it to be. But this
doesn't stop you and even if you can be
sensitive, you get over things pretty quickly.
In school you could be considered as the fun
one among your friends and could get along with
different categories of people fairly easy. You
mean no intentional harm on those around you,
but some people may think you're too happy
and/or stupid.

Negative aspects: Because you don't like
to have things depending on you, this power may
be seen as just something cool you have, and
not as a helping gift. Also you can get too
egotistical at times without bothering to care
for others. That is why it's good to do some
self-reflecting every once in a while to see
that you're not going overboard.

What Power is Compatible With You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thanks and have a nice night...what’s left of it that is.